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Pittman the fox

A character in 69 comics.

This friend loves to compete. And they love to win. In fact, they seem to even prefer that over successful relationships.

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Sharing

Feb 8, 2023

A fox is about to eat a piece of cake. RABBIT: Can you share?
FOX: Why? RABBIT: To be nice.
The fox hands his cake to the rabbit.
FOX (thinking): Nice feels an awful lot like hungry.

Out of Shape

Feb 1, 2023

RABBIT (thinking): Am I bit out of shape? SURE.
RABBIT (thinking): But no one really notices except me.
A fox jogs by. FOX: Mornin', fatty!
RABBIT (thinking): And a very vocal minority.

Dealing with Losing

Jan 23, 2023

FOX (thinking): OK. I lost. That's OK. I can deal with losing.
FOX (thinking): I'll just bang my head against this table seven hundred times in a row.
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! The fox slams his head repeatedly into the table.
FOX: Don't mind me! I'm just coping!

Calm Down

Jan 21, 2023

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

Why Does No One Like Spending Time with Me?

Jan 2, 2023

FOX: No one likes spending time with me. And I have no idea why!
FOX: All I do is relentlessly tell them the truth about everything they do wrong. And give unprompted advice about how to do things better.
FOX: And for some reason, they get ANGRY. Why do they always get ANGRY?
SQUIRREL: It's... one of life's little mysteries. FOX: It really is!

Undirected Anger

Dec 30, 2022

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

The Point of the Argument

Dec 21, 2022

SQUIRREL: This argument feels pointless. FOX: Oh, it has a point.
FOX: My complete and total victory is the point.
The squirrel, frustrated, walks away.
The fox walks after the squirrel, yelling. FOX: OH! And also your defeat and SHAME! I forgot about the SHAME!

Prepared for Party

Dec 20, 2022

SKINK (thinking): Before a party, I prepare for common questions I might be asked.
SKINK (thinking): I'm ready for almost any social situation.
FOX: How're you doing?
SKINK (thinking): Curveball!

No Two Leaves

Dec 9, 2022

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

Conquerors

Nov 28, 2022

FOX: You know, the great conquerors from the past would hold bonfires and enormous, elaborate feasts after a victory on the battlefield.
The fox moves his rook. FOX: Checkmate.
The squirrel glares at the chess board. The fox looks aimlessly behind him.
FOX: I'll probably just go grab some chips.

Polite

Nov 23, 2022

A bird shows a painting to a fox and a rabbit. BIRD: How is it? And be polite! FOX: Hmm, now... What's a polite way to say, "It looks like garbage."
The bird angrily storms away.
RABBIT: Ooo, maybe say it in British? FOX: 'Ello, chap! Your paintin' is rubbish!
RABBIT: I think that sounded very polite. FOX: Well, it's important to be polite.

One of a Kind

Oct 12, 2022

FOX (thinking): I am SPECIAL. I am UNIQUE.
FOX (thinking): I am ONE of a KIND.
The fox dives into a large body of water.
The fox sits alone in the water with no one else around for miles. FOX (thinking): I just wish I had someone else to be one-of-a-kind WITH.

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