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Ego

A topic in 16 comics.

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One of the Greats

Feb 26, 2023

A bird paints. BIRD (thinking): I consider myself one of the great artists of my time.
The bird pauses and looks around.
BIRD (thinking): Or at least one of the great artists of my house.

One of a Kind

Oct 12, 2022

FOX (thinking): I am SPECIAL. I am UNIQUE.
FOX (thinking): I am ONE of a KIND.
The fox dives into a large body of water.
The fox sits alone in the water with no one else around for miles. FOX (thinking): I just wish I had someone else to be one-of-a-kind WITH.

Shrugs

Oct 10, 2022

A rabbit and a squirrel react to a bird's painting. RABBIT: I don't think I... GET it. SQUIRREL: I get it. It's... FINE.
BIRD (thinking): (sigh) I pour out my soul. And all I get is two SHRUGS.
BIRD (thinking): But one day... my work will be seen, not by two, but by two MILLION!
BIRD (thinking): And I will drink deep from a well of two MILLION shrugs!

Tell Me What to Do

Sep 23, 2022

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

Return

Jun 22, 2022

CUSTOMER: I would like to return this sweater! CLERK: It has a stain on it.
CUSTOMER: Yes! This sweater is prone to getting stains, and I want to return it! CLERK: You can't do that...
CUSTOMER: YES, I CAN! I AM RIGHT!! THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!!!
CLERK: Wait... we don't even sell this brand here... CUSTOMER: Yes, well, I'd also like to complain about the poor selection at this store.

My Story

Jun 2, 2022

BIRD: Like the great heroes of myth, my story will be told for generations.
The bird eyes a fly buzzing around.
The bird looks at the fly, who has landed on their beak.
BIRD (who has eaten the fly): Though maybe not this particular bit.

Brag

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

May 1, 2022

Rules of the Game

Apr 20, 2022

PITTMAN: Here are the rules of this game...
PITTMAN: I go first. Then you draw the first card. Then I win.
PITTMAN: Well... The last one isn't a RULE.
PITTMAN: But it's a real likelihood, and I want you to be ready for it.

Failing is Key to Learning

Apr 13, 2022

FLYNN: Failure is key to learning.
PITTMAN: Well... I never fail.
FYLNN: Then, you never learn.
PITTMAN: Doesn't that make my awesomeness all the more impressive?

Different Strengths and Weaknesses

Apr 6, 2022

PITTMAN: Don't get upset. We just have different strengths and weaknesses. Am I better at chess? Yes.
PITTMAN: BUT... Do I run faster?
PITTMAN: Again, yes.
PITTMAN: And SURE, I'm smarter... funnier...
PITTMAN: Certainly more well-liked...
PITTMAN: What was I talking about again?
FLYNN: You were... cheering me up.

Your Only Hobby

Oct 15, 2021

ROONIE: Is painting your only hobby?
SHELKEY: "Hobby"? "HOBBY"?
SHELKEY: Painting is not my "HOBBY". It's my LIFE! I EAT painting! I BREATHE painting! I sleep, I... I DREAM painting!
A pause.
SHELKEY: I also like mystery novels.
ROONIE: OOO... Me too...

Golden Rule

Sep 22, 2021

ROONIE: You should treat people how you want to be treated.
FLYNN: Mmm, that's a bad rule.
FLYNN: I don't think much of myself.

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