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Roonie the rabbit

A character in 381 comics.

This friend is very sweet, but a little distracted. They’d do anything for you, if they actually understood what you wanted them to do, which they don’t.

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The Rules

Oct 22, 2025

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter Mason's Patreon at $5 or more

Snack

Sep 24, 2025

RABBIT: MMPH! A good snack... It can change your whole outlook.
SQUIRREL: What about a bad snack?
The rabbit pauses.
RABBIT: I don't believe such a thing exists.

Believe In Me

Sep 17, 2025

RABBIT: Do you believe in me? SQUIRREL: I believe you EXIST.
SQUIRREL: I don't think you're, like... a figment of my IMAGINATION.
RABBIT: But do you believe I can accomplish my goals?
SQUIRREL: Let's... just stick to the facts.

Feelings and Opinions

Aug 20, 2025

A rabbit and squirrel look at two flowers. RABBIT: Do you think flowers have feelings? SQUIRREL: Not really, no.
CYRIL THE FLOWER: WRONG. We DO have feelings... JERK...
MADELYNE THE FLOWER: And... some of have some PRETTY smart political opinions, as well!
CYRIL: (sigh) Again with the LAND VALUE TAX! It's unenforceable, Madelyne! MADELYNE: Henry George was a PROPET, Cyril! Tax the FIRST, not the labor!!

Anything Else

Aug 6, 2025

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter Mason's Patreon at $5 or more

Run Away

Jul 30, 2025

RABBIT: Do you ever just want to run away from all your problems?
The squirrel runs away. RABBIT: Wait! Hold on! DO YOU?!
The rabbit yells after the squirrel. RABBIT: HEY!!
The rabbit runs after the squirrel. RABBIT (thinking): Well... I'll just have to chase after them screaming until they answer...

Want to Exercise

Jul 23, 2025

A rabbit wears exercise clothes. RABBIT (thinking): I want to EXERCISE.
The rabbit removes their headband. RABBIT (thinking): The problem is, I need better exercise CLOTHES. And these exercise SHOES... They're all wrong, I don't want to HURT myself exercising.
The rabbit has removed their clothes and is taking off their shoes. RABBIT (thinking): The WORST thing I could do is exercise with the wrong exercise clothes and exercise shoes and then hurt myself exercising, so... I won't exercise.
The rabbit lies on the floor next to their exercise clothes and shoes. RABBIT (thinking): But it's too bad because I really WANT to exercise...

Good Day

Jul 9, 2025

A squirrel and a rabbit sit high up on a tree branch. RABBIT: Today... will be a good day for me. SQUIRREL: Why?
RABBIT: I dunno. I just have a FEELING.
Unprovoked SHOVE! The squirrel unceremoniously pushed the rabbit off the tree.
SQUIRREL (yelling down below): I don't believe in intuition.

By Your Side

Jul 2, 2025

LIZARD: You got this. And I'll be right by your side... the whole way. RABBIT: You're be helping?
LIZARD: Oh no. No, I'll be cowering, catastrophizing, whimpering, forcing you to carry me on your back.
LIZARD: All the while making negative, discouraging comments that make you feel you don't, in fact, "got this."
RABBIT: Does... does it have to be... RIGHT by my side? LIZARD: The WHOLE way.

Missed You

Jun 25, 2025

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Book Review

Jun 18, 2025

RABBIT: Is that book good? SQUIRREL: Dummo. Haven't finished it yet.
RABBIT: Is it good so far? SQUIRREL: YES... But it depends on how it ENDS... and I haven't... FINISHED.
A pause.
RABBIT: How long will it take to finish? SQUIRREL: APPARENTLY LONGER THAN I THOUGHT.

My Control

Jun 4, 2025

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Roonie the Rabbit

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