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Winter Trees

Dec 18, 2022

SQUIRREL (thinking): Winter trees have no leaves. Naked. Bare. Exposed.
CARLOS THE TREE: It’s true! Here I am, world! Know my truth! I’ve never liked this tire swing, and I don’t care who knows it! RAFA THE TREE: We ALL know it, Carlos.
CARLOS THE TREE: But did you know that with each swing, the rope digs deeper into my branch, and in doing so, my very soul? RAFA THE TREE: Yes. We do. LUCIA THE TREE: We READ your poetry blog, Carlos.
CARLOS THE TREE: YOU TOLD ME YOU YOU HATED MY BLOG!! LUCIA THE TREE: No. No! I NEVER said that! I simply said it would work better as a STAGED PIECE! RAFA THE TREE: Guys... Let’s not do this again...

My Gift

Dec 17, 2022

A squirrel and a rabbit sit in a tree. SQUIRREL: You know, you really frustrate me.
SQUIRREL: And I want to shove you off this tree.
SQUIRREL: But... I won't.
SQUIRREL: Merry Christmas.

No Two Leaves

Dec 9, 2022

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

Done It All

Dec 8, 2022

SKINK (thinking): You know, I look at my like and I think, "I've done it all."
SKINK (thinking): Sure... I barely leave my home.
SKINK (thinking): But here, within this 15- to 17-foot radius...
SKINK (thinking): I've really done it all.

Shorter Days

Nov 30, 2022

A squirrel and rabbit look out at the Sun, low in the sky. SQUIRREL: The days get shorter in the Fall and Winter.
THE SUN (thinking): It's true! It's nice for me. I get to take it a little easy! Ha ha! Yeah!
THE SUN (thinking): Ha ha! Ha... Heh... (sigh)
THE SUN (thinking): By still working eight to nine hours every single stupid day.

Hold That Thought

Nov 29, 2022

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

Conquerors

Nov 28, 2022

FOX: You know, the great conquerors from the past would hold bonfires and enormous, elaborate feasts after a victory on the battlefield.
The fox moves his rook. FOX: Checkmate.
The squirrel glares at the chess board. The fox looks aimlessly behind him.
FOX: I'll probably just go grab some chips.

Create

Nov 27, 2022

BIRD: I truly feel I've been put here to create art. SQUIRREL: By whom?
BIRD: Someone with a grand plan.
BIRD: Or... a cruel sense of humor.
The squirrel considers the bird's art. SQUIRREL: Well, either way, I'd like to have a word with them.

Sandwiches

Nov 26, 2022

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

All the Things

Nov 25, 2022

SKINK: I get overwhelmed when I think of all the things I'm supposed to get done.
SKINK: I just need to take it easy...
SKINK: Focus my mind...
SKINK: ...And overwhelm myself one thing at a time.

Polite

Nov 23, 2022

A bird shows a painting to a fox and a rabbit. BIRD: How is it? And be polite! FOX: Hmm, now... What's a polite way to say, "It looks like garbage."
The bird angrily storms away.
RABBIT: Ooo, maybe say it in British? FOX: 'Ello, chap! Your paintin' is rubbish!
RABBIT: I think that sounded very polite. FOX: Well, it's important to be polite.

How’s Your Day?

Nov 22, 2022

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

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