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Change

Jan 25, 2023

SKINK: It's bad when things change. Even if it seems like they're change to something better. I'll still miss the old bad.
SKINK: I prefer the old bad to the new maybe good.
SKINK: Does that make sense? RABBIT: No.
RABBIT: But it's OK. You usually don't.

Dealing with Losing

Jan 23, 2023

FOX (thinking): OK. I lost. That's OK. I can deal with losing.
FOX (thinking): I'll just bang my head against this table seven hundred times in a row.
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! The fox slams his head repeatedly into the table.
FOX: Don't mind me! I'm just coping!

Calm Down

Jan 21, 2023

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

Don’t Make Friends with Snowmen

Jan 20, 2023

RABBIT (thinking): I don't make friends with snowmen.
The snowman moves slightly toward the rabbit, whose back is turned. RABBIT (thinking): Because they melt. And they leave me. Sad and alone.
The snowman is now right behind the rabbit. RABBIT (thinking): I protect myself. I keep my distance. I play it cool.
The snowman warmly hugs the rabbit. UNPROVOKED CUDDLE! RABBIT (thinking, with love in his heart): Dang it.

Ready to Face the Week

Jan 17, 2023

SKINK: I’m ready to face the week.
SKINK: Not right now.
SKINK: But I will be.
SKINK: In five to seven business days.

Good Sandwich

Jan 15, 2023

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

How to Talk at a Party

Jan 14, 2023

ANT 1: This party is OK. But this house is a lot smaller than ours. ANT 2: Nicole, honey, that’s not POLITE. Don’t say that.
ANT 1: Oh, sorry, uh… OUR house is a lot NICER than THIS one. ANT 2: NICOLE! Stop it! People can HEAR you!
ANT 1: JEEZ, Michelle! How on earth am I supposed to communicate how ugly this house is?! ANT 2: You are NOT!
ANT 1: So all I can talk about is how dumb their kids are? That seems CRUEL... ANT 2: Please wait in the car.

The Life of An Artist

Jan 13, 2023

BIRD: Look... I'm an artist. I create something from NOTHING.
BIRD: My work touches souls! Shapes minds! Changes lives! With these hands... I can touch the face of GOD!
BIRD: But sure... for ten bucks... I can... (sigh)... draw you a poodle in a party hat.
RABBIT: FIVE. Bird: Deal.

When I’m Older

Jan 12, 2023

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

Help Me Understand How You Feel

Jan 11, 2023

RABBIT: Help me understand how you feel.
SQUIRREL: Mmm...
SQUIRREL: No.
SQUIRREL: I'd like to actively work against that.

Why Does No One Like Spending Time with Me?

Jan 2, 2023

FOX: No one likes spending time with me. And I have no idea why!
FOX: All I do is relentlessly tell them the truth about everything they do wrong. And give unprompted advice about how to do things better.
FOX: And for some reason, they get ANGRY. Why do they always get ANGRY?
SQUIRREL: It's... one of life's little mysteries. FOX: It really is!

Undirected Anger

Dec 30, 2022

To view this content, you must be a member of Porter's Patreon at $3 or more

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