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Artist

A topic in 20 comics.

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One of the Greats

Feb 26, 2023

A bird paints. BIRD (thinking): I consider myself one of the great artists of my time.
The bird pauses and looks around.
BIRD (thinking): Or at least one of the great artists of my house.

The Life of An Artist

Jan 13, 2023

BIRD: Look... I'm an artist. I create something from NOTHING.
BIRD: My work touches souls! Shapes minds! Changes lives! With these hands... I can touch the face of GOD!
BIRD: But sure... for ten bucks... I can... (sigh)... draw you a poodle in a party hat.
RABBIT: FIVE. Bird: Deal.

Polite

Nov 23, 2022

A bird shows a painting to a fox and a rabbit. BIRD: How is it? And be polite! FOX: Hmm, now... What's a polite way to say, "It looks like garbage."
The bird angrily storms away.
RABBIT: Ooo, maybe say it in British? FOX: 'Ello, chap! Your paintin' is rubbish!
RABBIT: I think that sounded very polite. FOX: Well, it's important to be polite.

Celebrating Genius

Sep 21, 2022

BIRD (thinking): The world will one day celebrate my genius.
SQUANK! A bird makes a huge loud obnoxious sound.
The bird waits for huge applause, but hears nothing.
BIRD (thinking): But for now, they're just playing it cool.

Songs About Disappointment

Aug 24, 2022

BIRD: I write songs about my disappointments.
BIRD: And no one likes them.
BIRD: Which is always disappointing.
RABBIT: That's a real system you've got going. BIRD: It is, isn't it?

God Speaks

Aug 1, 2022

BIRD (thinking): When I create art, it's like God is speaking through me.
The bird paints.
The bird considers his art.
BIRD (thinking): And God is saying, "Maybe consider another line of work."

Doodle

Jul 25, 2022

SQUIRREL: If this is just a doodle, it's incredible.
SQUIRREL: But if you put a lot of time into this... it's pretty pathetic.
BIRD: Oh right, ha, yeah... This is just a doodle.
BIRD: Dang it...

All I Want

May 9, 2022

BIRD: ((All I want is for people to like my art.))
BIRD: ((And to not have to work too hard to make it.))
BIRD: ((And to get vast sums of money, fame, and fortune for it.))
BIRD: ((Is that so much to ask?))

The Muse Strikes

Mar 28, 2022

SHELKEY: It's not often the muse strikes me.
A pause.
smacks head with typewriter repeatedly
SHELKEY: So sometimes I strike first.

State of Mind

Feb 13, 2022

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Progress

Dec 31, 2021

SHELKEY: Well, I've made a lot of progress as an artist this year.
SHELKEY: I've been boring, derivative, lazy, and pandering.

Writing Process

Dec 20, 2021

SHELKEY: I am a writer.
SHELKEY: And I have a PROCESS.
SHELKEY: I pick a quiet spot. I clean the space. I make oolong tea.
SHELKEY: Then, I sit... and I WRITE.
A pause.
SHELKEY: Lastly, I quit writing forever and hurl my typewriter into the sea.

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